A Letter to my Teenage Self

I miss writing.  Writing used to be my outlet, the one place on earth I could be authentically me and not worry about what people thought or who they thought I should be.  I am not entirely sure where all my time goes, but it feels like it is slipping by so quickly I don't have a moment to just stop and enjoy some of the things that used to bring me such joy.  True, there are new things that bring me joy these days, my kids for example, but there is just something so sweet about letting your thoughts just flow and your fingers run along the keys and watching as one tiny thought tumbles into a thousand.  I love starting with just one small idea and winding up with something completely different than I intended.  I've decided to try to write more, if not every day then every week.  I was looking though blogs about writing the other week and I came across a blog with a list of things to write about.  I thought it looked like fun so I thought I'd try to go through the list and see where I end up. 

17. Write a letter to your teenage self

After going through the list, this is the item that piqued my interest.  I have talked about this indirectly over the years.  Of course, rather than a letter it was usually prefaced with, "If I could go back I'd tell myself..." or "If I only knew then..."  So let's see.  What would my thirty-one year old self love to go back and tell my teenage self.

Hey,
  So, how weird is this?  I'm writing me a letter.  I never really thought I would write myself a letter, but on the off chance we discover time travel one day, maybe you'll get the opportunity to learn from some of my mistakes before you make them yourself. 

So let me begin by saying, first of all, you're NOT ugly.  I know you've got this image in your head of the gangly girl with skinny, long legs and no shape, but don't worry, nobody else sees you that way.  Acne isn't the end of the world.  Don't eat salad for a year because some jerk told you that your face is broken out from too many burgers and too much chocolate. Trust me, it's not worth it and it doesn't work.  Invest in good cover up and don't worry, it will go away after you have your first baby. Incidentally, while it seems counterintuitive, moisturize.  Even oily skin needs proper care.

Second, don't date the first guy who asks, for that matter, don't date any of the ones who ask.  I know you think nobody is going to want you, but you have a lot to offer and no matter how you're feeling right now, you won't be alone forever.  You've got your whole life ahead of you, dating will happen.  You're smart, funny, and you've got a great smile, trust me, there's plenty of time for guys later.  For that matter, you've already got someone who loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you.  Don't be afraid of what others will think, be bold and make a decision even if it seems scary.  But first, put that brain to good use, go to university and get that degree you want so badly.  I know you're scared, but the WORST thing that happens is you get a degree and don't get the grades you want.  You can learn anything you want to learn and the time is going to pass anyway.  Would you rather regret not having it?  Trust me on this one, you want that degree. 

Furthermore, travel.  Take a year, put your money away - you don't need to see that many movies anyway - and go to all the places (or at least ONE of the places) you've always wanted to see.  NOW is the time to do it.  You're young, single, and while it doesn't feel like it, you have no responsibilities yet.  Trust me, a cell phone is NOT a responsibility, it's an accessory and a very unnecessary one... at least it is now, later it will become an integral part of being a functioning member of society, but that's beside the point. 

Don't be afraid to try new things and make mistakes.  You never know how much fun something will be until you try it.  It's alright to look foolish sometimes.  Dance.  It's fun.  Smile more.  Laugh.  Let go of the past, it will only hurt you and you'll have to let go sooner or later; sooner hurts less.  Don't be afraid to tell people how you feel about them, they'll never know if you don't tell them.  Don't be afraid to let people in, it's lonely if you don't.  Don't be afraid of people seeing who you really are, you'll never make friends if you don't open up.  Be genuine, it's okay to have weaknesses and make mistakes, nobody will love you less for it. 

Start a retirement fund ASAP and start building credit as soon as you can. Get into the housing market sooner rather than later. 

Don't EVER start smoking; quitting sucks and you will quit... and you'll hate every second of it and you'll regret ever having started, so it's just better not to go there. 

Most importantly, don't take yourself so seriously, nobody else does.  Relax, let people see that softer side you hide so well; be vulnerable.  You'll get hurt, that's just how life works, but the relationships you'll build along the way will outweigh that. 

Learn to say you're sorry, it's easier than you think it is, and even if it wasn't it makes marriage a whole lot easier. 

Don't EVER read a parenting book.  It will make you second guess everything you think you know about parenting and in the end you're gonna do it your own way anyway. 

Let go of the negative things people have spoken over you over the years; they were said out of ignorance and those people know nothing about you anyway.  Hold onto the promises you know are true.  Seek wisdom and understanding, exercise compassion, be kind, and love largely.  If you start these things now you won't have to start learning them later, they'll just be a part of who you are.  Trust me, I'll thank you later. 

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What would YOU say to your teenage self?